Chaos wins over Calmness | Life #1

I was up early at around 4. I couldn't sleep that night, thinking of the ambient problems I have. Problems that cannot be defined in languages that humans are capable of. Those problems can only be read on a surface level. We all have those problems.

 My problems won't let me sleep, won't let me eat, won't let me talk, won't let me work on it. Working on my problems can only be followed by accepting my problems, which I'm scared of. I can't accept them, I can't let them become a part of me. Although they are a part of me, I can't accept they are a part of me. To know a problem is different from accepting it. And the problem with accepting it is that you let it define who you are. Without accepting it, you live with those problems, but with denial of them (Ignorance is a bliss, ain't it).

Anyway I got carried away, I was going to talk about what I experienced that morning. After I couldn't sleep I started writting a poem. I'm not a fan of poems, I haven't read a single poem out of my acadmeic literature in the past. But I've realised I like composing poems, although they turn out to be really bad, but it's satisfying. I wrote a poem and published it on this blog. This helped me feel better but not the best. Very few things make me feel the best. I decided to meditate on the terrace and watch the sun rise. Unfortunately, sky was a little cloudy on East so I couldn't see the sun go up. This is the picture I took trying to spot the sunrise. 

I sat there for a while listening to birds chirping and strong wind flowing. And after 2-3 minutes of taking the above pic, I turned around to west and saw this. 

My phone couldn't capture the darkness of those clouds accurately that my eyes could see, so I edited it a little to show what my eyes saw.

Those dark clouds were rapidly covering the whole sky. But I was able to watch them rise from west all the way to east, it took about a minute (I regret not capturing a wide angle picture of the whole sky). And for a minute I could see the darkness of the west and the brightness of the east, the chaos of West and calmness of East, and watched the two collide, slowly, yet rapidly.

 I witnessed the battle that Chaos won over Calmness.

The victory of West was celebrated with strong wind flowing all around. Knocking everything it crosses.

Afraid of a sudden burst of rain I came down to my room and wondered what were the odds of me not watching such a dark force coming from the West, although I had just turned away from West a minute ago only to turn back and realise the darkness has taken over half the sky, and is on it's path of conquest.

But the conquest did not last very long. After around 20 minutes, the calmness was restored. The bird started chirping again, the sun came out shining like a diamond. And everything was back on track. It will come back again, but it will also go away again.